I woke up this morning with a strong desire of optimism within me. As upset as I am about my current life, there's no reason for me to ignore the few good things that have happened so far this year.
• I confronted the one friend I've been having a huge problem with for the past few years. I bluntly told her that friends don't ignore texts and emails and letters with no acknowledgement of ever having read it in the first place. She was upset that I pointed it out and said she simply doesn't have time to reply most of the time. If you can't reply to a /text/ then I don't know if we should be friends. She apologized and said she would try to get better but I've finally allowed myself to stop caring so much and expecting certain actions and reactions.
• Chad and I almost broke up at the end of December but were able to put everything on the table and talk it all out. I still rarely see him but when I do, it's wonderful. He made sushi reservations for Valentine's Day, which I'm quite excited for.
• My sister moved out December 28th and it's been just me ever since. My friend Emerald and her boyfriend Max are moving in with me this Saturday for an undeclared amount of time. She just got a job offer in Denver and wants to settle in to the new environment before she looks for an apartment. They're not paying half the rent either which might seem strange but I know she's going from full time to part time and wants to save up for her new apartment, etc, so they'll be paying a minimum of $250 a month though if they are able to pay more, they will. Just with the minimum they will be saving me $1000 if they stay until June which is great and will allow me to save up to move this upcoming June. If they can pay more, even more money will be saved! & as much as I've enjoyed living alone, it's not /my/ apartment. Chad was there, my sister was there; it's weird with it just being me. Emerald and Max are friends and I won't feel so alone all the time. They're also vegetarians so bring on the healthy eating!
• I need to fill out the paperwork but i am now double majoring in History and Anthropology. It's been confirmed I'll graduate in Spring 2013 for history and then the fall with anthropology. My mom threw a fit but why would I /not/ stay for the extra semester when it means a second degree? I can take out a short loan and pay it off myself. BUT HOW EXCITING IS THAT!? I decided I won't go to grad school right away, live a little before I go back to school, maybe even travel, but I will be getting my Masters in Library Science.
• I got an automatic raise because Colorado's minimum wage just went up. I went from $8.15/hr to $8.50/hr. it might not seem like much, but it's almost $100 more than what I used to make when I started at $7.75/hr. I still never go out, but it means more money saved for moving in the future and tattoos and vacations to Las Vegas, Florida and Croatia.
• I've been spending more time with the friends that matter and have been shedding the layers of friends that have been nothing but leeches on my life. It's felt pretty great and the texts I do receive are all from people who genuinely like me.
What I want to do more of/start doing for the next few months:
• Zumba! I've had it for months and have yet to use it. I want to lose weight. I need to. I'm not unhealthy per se but I know I won't be fully happy with who I am until im happier with my body. Zumba is a fun way of exercising and I can do it at home by myself.
• read more! I have so many wonderful, beautiful books on my shelves, 67 of which have not been read! It makes me sad that I have so many books that I've neglected. As said previously, I still never go out so there's no reason for me not to read more this year. Maybe a goal of 60 this year?
• be more crafty. My mom sent me a gift card to Michaels and I went crazy. Chad walked around the whole store with me and I picked out yarn, paint, stamps, pens and paintbrushes. I finally put up all of the pictures I had printed out at Walgreens and it feels do nice to be surrounded by such friendly faces and memories. I used to make my own motivational posters and I've discovered I still have at least four posters in my craft closet and they're pretty cheap to buy at Staples.
I have all of the tools I need to be happy in life (books, crafts, Zumba, friends, a boyfriend, and tv shows out the wazoo); I just need to utilize them. I want to be happy and not constantly stressed or angry or sad. I want to be okay with who I am and to know who that person is.
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