short cuts;

Chad moved out over a week ago. We're still together, but the only way for him to grow up and mature on his own is to not live with me. He is living with two friends in a really nice house only fifteen minutes away. He will get his financial issues together and when he's ready, he'll move out and get his own place, or maybe he'll stay there if he wants. We're both going to take some time to fall into our own selves again. I had forgotten all of the things that had made me ME. I had conformed to Suzy Homemaker and being a girlfriend and not being a person of my own. So I'm going to work on that and he will work on his own issues and whenever he is ready, I will be here for him.

 Because he moved out, I needed someone to pay the other half of rent. So my sister moved in. But she just got fired and has yet to get a new job. I couldn't just abandon her and force my mom to completely take care of her ... even though mom is going to be paying her rent until she gets a job. She's in the mountains right now, my sister, instead of being at home unpacking, cleaning, doing homework, looking for a job. I remember all the reasons I dislike living with her but I can't treat her like anyone else. Regardless of the fact that I'm doing her a HUGE favor and that this is MY home and I have two other friends who have the means to move in and pay rent and not piss me off, she still takes advantage of me. Snaps at me, says she'll do chores later when it better suits her convenience. I need to find a way to just let her know that isn't how this is going to be. She either abides by my rules or she needs to get out. No freeloading.

Work. Oi. I talked to the District Manager and the process of me being transferred to Cherry Creek mall are underway. My boss is still being a jerk about it and is postponing it all the way to the second week of November. Regardless of the month wait, I AM GETTING OUT OF THERE. & I shall get a raise and more hours and be happier because I won't have to stress about all of the factors I've been stressing about before. AND it's closer to home and I get to work with one of my old supervisors, who is a ball of sunshine and impossible to be upset around. I just need to keep working my ass off, jump through whatever hoops my boss throws at me and I will be free.

I said I was going to talk about money as well, but I don't want to. I'm stressed right now but I'm just going to dip into my savings to get everything taken care of. The cats NEED to go to the vets and should have gone months ago. It will cost me a couple hundred dollars, but that's why I have a savings. They are my furry little family and they deserve to be taken care of as well. My benefits also just started so by Tuesday night, I shall have contacts with a new proper prescription (since my vision has most certainly gotten worse) and my teeth will be nice and clean and hopefully no cavities. & then I will begin saving up for the holidays and gifts for family and friends, and if I have financial woes, I won't let it eat me up because as long as I can pay my bills and have food in my fridge, there's no need to have an anxiety attack.

School. It's getting harder but I want to make up for my slacking off. I CAN get As and Bs again. I WILL. I just need to start applying myself more. I need to first get my life in order, naturally, and feel like I'm back in my own skin again, but I will be able to get that started this week and school will fall in accordingly. I'm rewriting my priorities and school will be on the top of the list, along with finding and maintaining my own happiness, keeping in touch with the few friends I have left and getting into shape.

Winter has always meant big changes. I think it's time I take control back of my life and rediscovering the type of person I am and want to be.